When you are on a program of continuous improvement, you are often adding some new activity to your weekly schedule, or improving the existing one. But by continually raising the bar you create a hazard: the increased potential for failure! Here are a few things that...
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Introduction to Rationally Connected Conversations
Introduction to Rationally Connected Conversations Defensiveness on either side of a conversation kills the connection and dooms communication. “Rationally Connected Conversations” (RCC) is a method for unilaterally eliminating defensiveness from both sides of a...
When You Might Want to Procrastinate…
A while ago, I read an interesting book called The Magic Lamp: Goal Setting for People Who Hate Goals by Keith Ellis. Much of his approach is compatible with mine. Here is a clever tactic of his for using your skill at procrastination as a power for good. The problem...
How to Make Yourself Do Something…or Not
People often ask me how to make themselves do something they think they're supposed to do. As a public service, I will answer that question. To make yourself do something, you need to shut out any thoughts that conflict with taking the action. That includes any...
Avoid the Plague of Vague
"Somebody ought to do something about that." We've all heard that vague statement offered as a “solution” to a problem. But vague ideas can’t solve anything. You can’t grasp the implications of a vague statement—they are as woozy or woozier than what you started with....
How to Take Advantage of Low-Quality Time
To concentrate on a mentally demanding task, you typically need at least one full hour of free time when you can ignore everything and everyone else. At that time, you focus all of your energy on that one task. I teach many tactics for concentrating effectively during...
FAQ: How do you remember to notice something you can’t predict?
People often ask me how to remember to do something in the future. The answer usually is, make a plan. Then remember to check the plan. But some kinds of actions cannot be planned. For example, I started a humor notebook at the recommendation of comedian Judy Carter....
Tactic: How Do I Love Thee
"How Do I Love Thee" Tactic Overview What: This is a simple tactic that triggers value-based emotions toward a person, task, or situation that you already value. When: Use this tactic when you are feeling surprisingly indifferent toward a known value. (Choose a...
How Do You Measure Happiness?
Peter Drucker once said, "If you can't measure it, you can't improve it." That applies to happiness just as much as to the quality of automobiles that Toyota is producing. If you want to be happier, a good place to start is to make objective just how happy you are...
The Alternative to a “No Choice” Rule
I am halfway through The Beck Diet Solution: Train Your Brain to Think Like a Thin Person. Judith Beck's exercises, combined with MyFitnessPal, are helping me adhere to a lose-a-pound-a-week diet. I don't agree with everything in the book, but I give it a qualified...