“Buffering” means doing a pleasurable activity to avoid feeling negative feelings about something else. A “buffering” activity offers instant gratification plus instant relief from unpleasantness. That can be an addictive combination, hence binge watching, binge...
Years ago I discovered what I have jokingly decided to call the “Pierced-Ears Principle.” The name comes from the story of what happened after I pierced my ears. First, the background. As I was beginning to do more public speaking, I started working to improve my...
In a recent article, I wrote: "Should" is a moral concept. When you say you "should" do something, you are saying it is the moral thing to do. If you, as I, ascribe to the moral code of rational egoism, "I should" means: Based on everything I know, including all of...
People often ask me how to remember to do something in the future. The answer usually is, make a plan. Then remember to check the plan. But some kinds of actions cannot be planned. For example, I started a humor notebook at the recommendation of comedian Judy Carter....
By far, the primary influence on my work is Ayn Rand. Her philosophy infuses my entire approach and underlies all my conclusions. One important secondary influence is F.M. Alexander, the inventor of the Alexander Technique. The Alexander Technique is training in...
One of my top life lessons learned is: if you want to create your dream life, you must stay ruthlessly committed to identifying and pursuing your top priority at each choice-point during the day. I call this "The Priorities Mindset." It took me years to truly learn...
In order to live a happy life, you need to see yourself achieving your values on a daily, weekly, and annual basis. For this purpose, I recommend that you adopt some regular practices. The daily practice is the "3 good things" process. The annual process is an annual...
We're moving into the next phase of the coronavirus crisis. We're getting a glimmer of the long haul. To help you flourish through tough times, I recommend you take proactive action to ensure that you have sufficient pleasure in your life. You need positive...
The WSJ had an article once on "How to Keep a Resolution." One of the suggestions was to strengthen your self-control. Here's the relevant section: "It may be possible to strengthen your self-control before starting your resolution by exercising it on small tasks.......
You have probably heard, "If you don't measure it, you can't improve it." True. You can't make something better unless you can get objective feedback on how you're doing. By choosing a metric, and periodically measuring it, you can see whether the changes you are...
A member of the Thinking Lab asked me to clarify how I reduce the size of my lists: "I was struck by your lists never having more than 7 things on them. This seems self-evident and also incomprehensible to me. What about stuff that you're not sure about that you don't...
Weekly planning is critical if you want to make progress on longer-term goals. On the positive side, a weekly planning session helps you clarify your top values. It gives you a chance to celebrate your successes for the week. It is the time when you set meaningful...
It's simple. "I need to manage my time" is a euphemism for "I am choosing not to spend time on important stuff." Sometimes the "important stuff" is work. Sometimes it's rest or recreation or relationships. But if you're dissatisfied with how you spend your time, your...
I'm a believer in using checklists and notes as memory aids. But sometimes you need to be able to rely on your own memory. This is particularly true for things you want to remember every time, like: Remember the car keys. Pronounce that word PREF-ur-u-buul, not...
Making and Breaking Habits Bad habits. How do you break them? Good habits. How do you make them? In the simplest cases, all it takes is a little willpower. For example, if you want to stop uttering filler words like "y'know" and "um," it's fairly easy. Be vigilant —...
Reading a "how to" book or taking a "how to" course doesn't magically transform a person's thinking abilities. Changing one's thinking methods can be as difficult as changing the established procedures of an entrenched bureaucracy. A person's old ways of thinking feel...
A member of my Thinking Lab asked me how to remember better what he reads. He said: "I read vast amounts of information (news, articles, books), which I need to think about and retain. I've not had the greatest success. For a long time, I have simply read things and...
I had a call with a member of the Thinking Lab the other day. He was concerned that he was reverting to some old behavior. He had changed jobs, and as a result he was very busy ramping up his knowledge and activity in the new position. He said it had occurred to him...
Some years ago I recommended the daily practice of identifying three good things that happen each day. This idea, which I got from Martin Seligman, helps you develop a more optimistic mindset. The original tip is also on the blog. In addition to making you more...
I am halfway through The Beck Diet Solution: Train Your Brain to Think Like a Thin Person. Judith Beck's exercises, combined with MyFitnessPal, are helping me adhere to a lose-a-pound-a-week diet. I don't agree with everything in the book, but I give it a qualified...
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