Dealing with Earned Guilt Loops
Guilt is the emotion that you feel when you believe you have failed to live up to your own moral standards. It is perhaps the most enervating emotion. It makes you want to curl up in a little ball to block it out and avoid it. But that is the worst thing you can do....
Do You Want to Add Bright Spots to Your Day?
The participants in my Launch program do a daily exercise to develop emotional resilience. They each choose a different tool to use, and some are experimenting with "Five Bright Spots." I had explained this tool briefly in a previous article, but from helping several...
FAQ: How Do You Save Your Mental State?
A while ago, one of the Launchers came to a coaching call with a problem. He had done fabulously creative work in analyzing some financial trends — by working through the night until 5:00 a.m. In one respect, this was progress. He had come to an earlier coaching call...
The Missing Step That Keeps You Flailing
Flailing is my word for a particular pattern of unproductive effort: you try, and try, and try — harder, and harder, and harder — and you still don't achieve your goal. Some people call this hitting your head against the wall. It sure feels like it when you're...
Learn the Words for the Time You Will Need Them
An "affirmation" is a positive statement about your own knowledge, skill, or values, which you memorize in some way. Some common examples are: I am a good person. I know enough to do this job. I can take the next step. Some self-help books recommend you collect such...
A Rant on Creativity
Courses and articles on creativity drive me crazy. None of them get at what I see as the real issue. They all focus on brainstorming quantities of ideas instead of explaining what creativity really is and how to direct it. For example, you may have participated in a...
FAQ: How does a central purpose make you happy?
In the last few articles, I've argued that a central purpose integrates your life, that it fits into a real life, that it needs to be a long-range productive goal, not something else, and how to identify your central purpose. I've asserted that it is important to a...
How to Find and Commit to a Central Purpose
Working out your central purpose is one of the most selfish things you can do. It has the biggest effect on your future and your happiness. It’s not a quick process. If you already have a general direction but need to clarify the personal significance for yourself,...
Why Relationships, Recreation, and Emotional Well-Being Don’t Function Properly as a Central Purpose
In the previous article, I opined that only a productive purpose can serve as a a central purpose. Before going deeper into the positive point, I'd like to address some common questions. People ask, why not make recreation or relationships or emotional well-being your...
How a Central Purpose Fits Into Your Real Life in the Real World
In the last article, I described a central purpose as a long-range productive goal that is stylized and utterly selfish. I gave a few examples of how different people in the same profession could have significantly different passions. And I argued that everyone, from...
