How Can You Become More Realistic When Setting Your Goals?

One of the members of the Thinking Lab mentioned that he has difficulty setting realistic goals for his major projects, because his expectations are unrealistic. I'd venture to say that most people set unrealistic goals in at least some areas. This is a big problem....

Adapting Advice to Your Own Purposes

A friend once shared with me how her 17-year-old daughter adapted some advice for her own purposes. It's an inspiring story with several lessons. The young woman was training to become an opera singer — an ambitious, long-term goal. It was particularly challenging for...

The Criteria For Choosing One Thing to Do

In the past, I've talked about the need to identify a unitary goal in order to be more productive. A unitary goal is: ONE thing you are trying to do. You cannot be nimble if you are trying to achieve a twofer (accomplish two things at once) or if you are vague on your...

Growth, Maintenance, Repair

There are many ways to categorize your to-do list to help you decide your priorities. David Allen recommends you categorize by type of activity (calls, online work, offline computer work, errands, etc.). Then, when you are looking for the next thing to do, you can...

Acknowledging Emotions, No Matter What

In this article I am continuing my campaign to end the battle between reason and emotion. I'd like to address another facet of that battle: the problem of bizarre, intense emotions. First a story, then the explanation. Some years ago, I held a small monthly discussion...

Understanding the Desire for Destruction

Last winter I got a surprise. I saw for myself that some people are deeply motivated by a desire for destruction, as opposed to a desire to gain values. Perhaps I have led a sheltered life, or maybe I accept the people I meet at face value. But I took for granted that...

The Risk of Guilt in Setting Priorities

When you set priorities for the day, you accept a risk. If you do not finish those tasks today, for whatever reason, you will have negative feelings at the end of the day. At a minimum, you will feel sad, just from the failure to meet your own expectations. If...

Use a Tickler File to Reduce the Size of Your Lists

A member of the Thinking Lab asked me to clarify how I reduce the size of my lists: "I was struck by your lists never having more than 7 things on them. This seems self-evident and also incomprehensible to me. What about stuff that you're not sure about that you don't...

Evolving a Weekly Planning Process

Weekly planning is critical if you want to make progress on longer-term goals. On the positive side, a weekly planning session helps you clarify your top values. It gives you a chance to celebrate your successes for the week. It is the time when you set meaningful...

Go by Reason

As most of you know, I'm a thinker. I like to understand issues thoroughly before I act. I am happy to consider possibilities, work out consequences, and introspect my emotional reactions before jumping into action. However, I have learned the hard way that if I want...

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